Tag Archives: be

ο»ΏBe Happy No Matter What: Book of the Month

Each month, I try to do something to improve my inner self and spirit. This month, I am reading “Be Happy No Matter What,” by Ellen Seigel. I won the book as a door prize at the Cincinnati eWomen network meeting and the timing couldn’t be more perfect!



I’ll be sure to write a review of it next week! If you are interested in hearing the author speak next week at the Dayton eWomen network meeting on Wednesday, June 8 from 11-1:30pm at Yankee Trace, contact me about how you can attend at no cost!Kpl πŸ™‚

What makes you happy!?!

  
For Pharrell, we know that ‘humming along’ makes him ‘happy.’ But what makes you happy?

I was spending so much time focusing on making other people happy that I have forgotten what makes my heart sing. As a result, I started becoming incredibly stressed out, irritable and unhappy. I love my bridal couples and wedding vendor friends, don’t get me wrong — but besides them, I didn’t have any other outlets besides my husband and my cat.

Last year, I connected with my friend Amy, and she and I talked about how I used to swim competitively during high school and college. I hated looking at myself in the mirror because I had picked up more than 70 pounds since college and I felt so sluggish. She told me that you make time for priorities, and 30 minutes a day could easily become a priority. That didn’t sound too hard, but I was concerned about my lupus putting up a fight. (That’s largely where the weight came from — the drugs that saved my life.) She encouraged me to try anyway, and I started doing Les Mills Combat and embarked on a healthy eating routine. One year later, I am now 40 pounds healthier, have a great virtual support network, and have a passion for eating clean and organic. 
Before opening the wedding planning business, I used to perform and work on the production team for community theater. I sang as a cantor at our church, and in the past I had sung the national anthem at the Xavier Men’s Basketball homecoming game, the Buffalo Sabres, the Toledo Mudhens and the Cincinnati Mighty Ducks. I wanted to have a career in musical theater at one point. So what happened? Why did this passion leave my life? Music and theater had always been such a great creative outlet for me.

The lessons I learned this past year? Simple — in order to take care of others you need to take care of yourself.

(1) You make time for things that are priorities. If you really want to make a commitment to do something you will find the time. There are 24 hours in a day — eight are spent sleeping, ten are spent working, two are spent eating — what will you do with the remaining four? How will you spend your 32 hours of your ‘awake time’ on your days off? That is up to you!

(2) Set boundaries. If you don’t someone else will for you. Saying ‘no’ isn’t a bad word, it is simply a decline.

(3) Make a date with yourself each day. Whether it be a 30 minute workout, meditation, journaling, bubble bath, a walk in the park, cooking to music — it doesn’t matter. Make a date with yourself each day. I carve out ‘Kathy time,’ which is time for me. I spend it alone doing something to make my body or spirit feel better. It is a great opportunity to recharge your battery and regroup to tackle the rest of life’s stressors the rest of the day!

What about my singing and performing bug that was inadvertently squashed? Jim and I recently rejoined our church, and I asked the office manager to tell the music director that I was interested in cantoring again. Her email back said ‘he’ll be so happy to hear you’re back, we need good cantors!’ It’s a start, right? I also hear there will be auditions for a show at the Sharonville Cultural Arts Center soon that will require an Atlanta accent! πŸ™‚

Don’t worry … Be happy now! (Ooo… ooo, ooo, ooo, Ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, Ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo….don’t worry…are you humming along?)

Kpl

Forge your own path (and don’t compare yourself to others!)

  

 One of my worst flaws is that I constantly compare myself to others. That person is skinnier than me, that person has a bigger house than me, this person is more successful than me…sound familiar? We all have done it at some point.

I have a friend who is traveling all over the world DJ-ing on cruise ships, and she has the most amazing Instagram. Another friend of mine from college is producing movies for Hallmark channel, and I just streamed one of her movies on my Time Warner app this evening. Yet another person I went to high school with has been on the cover of Fortune magazine and is a mentor on Shark Tank this season. What have I done? I have planned weddings for people in Cincinnati. I’m not famous, I don’t live in a big city, and I am certainly not rolling in the dough. I have always set my standards higher because that’s just me. I don’t want to be ordinary. When I start comparing myself to these people, however, I immediately feel like I’ve failed.

When I start having this line of thinking, I quickly remind myself of these four things. 

(1) You are special and unique, and you have been blessed with your own talents and life journey. Your path is not the same. You have qualities that no one else has. The path life has taken you on has made you into the person you are today. Your life, talents and experiences likely inspire more people than you realize. I was diagnosed with lupus and recovering from that that set me back a few years on growing my business. Right when my business was taking off, my husband and I moved to Cleveland for two years where I literally had to start over from scratch. We eventually moved to Cincinnati and it took a few years back to get where I was when we left. Some people may see these as obstacles, but they were learning experiences and I am a stronger person because of them.

(2) You don’t know what is going on behind the front door. You see what that person wants you to see, or shows you — which is likely 10% of the story. You see the achievements, the milestones, the Facebook posts and the money. What you don’t see is the years of struggle, failures, struggling marriages and medical issues. That person’s health may be failing, or their marriage might be on the rocks. You aren’t comparing yourself to their struggles though. 

(3) They have problems and struggles too. Nobody is perfect. We all have crosses to carry. If we didn’t we wouldn’t be human!

(4) They might think you’re perfect! Think about the social media posts you post. Do you post when your checking account overdraws, when you’ve gained 20 pounds, or lost out on booking that big client? Of course not! You post the good things, like winning an award, the photos from the great event you planner, or when you lost 40 pounds. In reading the 10% of what is actually going on in your life, others may think your life is perfect!

  
I think of a line from the movie “The Sixth Sense,” — people see what they want to see. When you compare yourself to others that is exactly what you are doing. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday to who you are today and who you want to be tomorrow. That is the healthiest way to compare yourself and continue to grow!

kpl πŸ™‚